I keep a running list of things that I keep to remind myself never to do them in a book. Here is the list.
Never:
Write a Fiction novel about myself disguised thinly. Middle-aged housewives do not have romantic adventures.
Write novel about novelists, publishers, or anyone in the writing business. It’s pandering or bragging.
Begin with how drab people’s lives are
Begin in an awful situation that isn’t exciting and doesn’t move the story along.
Spend too much time with discussion and explanation at the beginning. Give them SOME action or even a little plot!
Write a plot line where the heroine saves the hero from himself. It’s overdone, oversmug and under-realistic.
Write people who behave outside their age. A 30-something with a 20-something lifestyle and 20 something mindset isn’t dashing. It makes them look developmentally delayed.
Start the book with a long boring history of people who arent real and the reader hasn’t had time to care about yet
Make too many plot twists. It should be exciting, not dizzying.
Phrases to avoid:
Twin, dark pools
Eyes like the ocean before a storm (overused)
being “undone” unless writing about Regency England or Hairstylists
All eloquent description of kissing, lovemaking, or intimacy. It always sounds corny and embarrassing.
- Examples: “Taking his tongue and giving him hers in return”, “Tender sweep of his tongue”
Absolutely anything about claiming unless it has to do with coats or dry-cleaning
This list is by no means complete. If you have any wonderful “bad writing avoidance” suggestions, I’d love to hear them!
Kate Policani 