Posts Tagged With: was

Public Apology for Overuse of the Word “Was”

Yes, I’m sorry. I had no idea how extreme my overuse had become. It took me 3 days to change all my “was” from abusive to proper use in How to Win Friends and Influence Magicians. (I tried to eliminate “was” except for when the subject truly was the adjective or object.)

I’m pretty happy with the result after all my “checking” (which I’ve almost finished). Here is a short example in the form of my book synopsis. Do you think it’s an improvement?

Here is the original synopsis:

I’m a normal girl. I am. I love shoes, fragranced body care, and hair products. I love all the “chick flicks” that have come out in the theaters in the last 2 years (and a lot of the old ones) and I obsess about my wardrobe.  I respond positively to most of the marketing directed at females in my age group.
My name is Colleen Underhill, and the only abnormal thing about me is that I just discovered I am (or I became, or I was turned into) a magician. Not the disappearing bunny kind, but the power-shooting-out-of-your-hands kind of magician.
My problem now is that I do NOT believe in magic. Well, I believe in it, as it I have seen it shooting out of my own hands, but I am morally against it. No hexes, no spells, no incantations, no potions, no amulets, no tomes, no casting circles, no eye of newt, none of that. I am specific because people are pushing me about it. Whatever they say about “how it’s done”, this is a morality issue for me and I am not going to cave in to their pressure.
 
But what do I do now?
 

And here is the “checked” synopsis:

I’m a normal girl. I am. I love shoes, fragranced body care, and hair products. I love all the chick flicks that have come out in the theaters in the last 2 years (and a lot of the old ones) and I obsess about my wardrobe.  I respond positively to most of the marketing directed at females in my age group.

My name is Colleen Underhill, and the only abnormal thing about me is that I just discovered I am, or I transformed into, a magician; not the disappearing bunny kind, but the power-shooting-out-of-your-hands kind of magician.

My problem now is that I do NOT believe in magic. Well, I believe in it. I have seen it shoot out of my own hands, but I oppose it in a moral sense; no hexes, no spells, no incantations, no potions, no amulets, no tomes, no casting circles, no eye of newt, none of that. I have to be very clear because people pressure me about it. Whatever they say about “how it’s done”, this is a morality issue for me and I will not cave in to their pressure.

But what do I do now?

Categories: My Books, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , | 17 Comments

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